I really don’t think that’s a good idea.

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I’m spending some of the time my brain hates me brushing up on languages I used to be really good at. Specifically, I’m working on my Spanish and my German skills. At the same time. Because I’m an idiot. (Also because they are two different families – Romantic & Germanic – and don’t have a lot of overlap in areas that would be confusing, such as if I were doing Spanish and Portugues, French, Italian or any of those other languages with fewer than 9,000 declensions per verb form.)

Originally, it was a little bit depressing because it showed me how much I’ve forgotten. But then I started getting into it and realized I hadn’t forgotten as much as I thought.

Still, I think the people writing the lessons might be on crack. I’m pretty sure that horses aren’t supposed to eat bread and that making a duck drink milk might actually be a felony in some states…. They also reminded me that the soldiers aren’t green, the baker will not dance and that my mother is not a priest. They have some strong opinions.

But who knows? Maybe ducks really LIKE milk and I just never noticed because I’m lactose intolerant. Wow. Way to be self-absorbed AND enzyme deficient, me.

I do know how to tell you a straight up lie in German. It involves children happily eating onions. I also had to declare repeatedly in both languages that I am a man. (I’m not. That I know of, at least. Shit. Maybe this language program knows something I don’t and is just waiting till I’m fluent enough for them to spring it on me that I’m a dude and just never noticed. Way to make me paranoid, LANGUAGE!)

Dammit.

Oh well.  I fully expect to be bilingual by the end of the week. That’s realistic, right?

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Let’s Be Honest…

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You guys are just here for the stick figures, right?

(By the way, 13 hour naps? Awesome. I advise 3/day. You might need a time turner.)

To be entirely too honest and realistic for a blog like this, I’m depressed at the moment, so stick figures may be a bit in short supply for a few updates. But I’ll keep updating because I have lots of snark. And a laptop. And Netflix. I think it’s impossible not to blog if you have those three ingredients. Pretty sure it was the earliest alchemical recipe.

So while I have no idea what I’ll be writing about here or whether there will be funny pictures, I do know that I’ll be writing and, sooner or later, there will be funny pictures again.  Right now I’d try to draw a picture of being depressed and that’s really just a lot like the picture of me melting in the heat.  It’s kind of a me puddle.

So the me puddle is gonna try not to melt into the bed beyond recovery and the you puddle can go along doing whatever you’re doing this weekend and next week we’ll see if we’re less puddly, deal?

I’d make you shake on it, but I don’t know you that well.

Also, I want a pretzel dog from Sonic. Just thought you should know.

Hello, Saturday!

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I’m having a weird brain day. I should be writing, but I really, really just want to nap. I know the last 2 weeks have had sketchy updates at best. Sorry ’bout that. I promise I’ll be back to drawing goofy stuff soon and reviewing movies you should already have seen by now.

Other than starting butt o’clock pie-centric cults (which may or may not exist), I am really thinking today’s a good day for a nap.

Naps are cool, right? Like … a 13 hour nap is still totally okay as a grownup, right? Because next week, I get a year older and I kinda need to know because people keep looking at me like I’m a grownup and it kinda freaks me out…

Besides, it’s raining. I’m pretty sure even Jesus takes long naps when it’s raining. Really. I think I remember reading that in the Bible somewhere.

So I’m declaring today International (hell, make it Inter-dimensional), pan-universal nap day.

You’re welcome.

Now go to sleep.

Pretty sure this should have some tags somewhere, but I’m trying out MarsEdit and since it’s not immediately obvious where they are, I’m going to assume they no longer exist. So if you can’t find out about pan-galactic nap day because there are no tags and you miss it? Blame MarsEdit. Not me.

‘Cause I’ll be napping.

It seemed like a good idea at the time…

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I live in Mordor, but I’m pretty sure I heard ice giants on the move….

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I Don’t Know How It Happened….

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So I was gonna blog about the whole twitter silence thing that I didn’t participate in for reasons. But I can’t do that thing right now because I FELL DOWN THE PRETTY LITTLE LIARS RABBIT HOLE.

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Sorry?

Taking the day off:

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I have several things I want to post, but I need time to focus on them and get them ready and I need to write a few other things, too, for that OTHER blog and to submit for the kind of writing gig that pays me money if they like my words.

So instead of being wholly irresponsible and fobbing off a couple of sketches and a rerun just to finish out the week, I’m just taking tomorrow off.

I took today off because my  mother got bitten by a chupacabra. Or a spider. Whatever the big furry things in the garden are. Anyway, she went to the ER at butt o’clock and I just stayed up till I heard something which was post-butt o’clock/late:30 and then didn’t sleep much.  So I’m kind of a zombie and this might actually be written in Assyrian; hard to tell.  

Assuming I did manage to write this in English and that I’m not communicating solely with the spectral Great Beyond (thanks for those who spoke up), I’m taking tomorrow just to work on doing some awesome things because this blog is lots of fun for me and it makes me grin when I realize that people actually kinda like it. 

So thanks for reading my tales of stupidity and looking at my oddly drawn stick figures and I promise there will be more content worth reading soon.  

If I really get my ducks in a row, there might be a weekend surprise!

Love, luck and and as little ebola as possible,

~Ms. Hazard(ous)

Question!

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So I’ve got two posts nearly finished and waiting to be posted, but they both need some more work.  One is about Introverts and the other is about “Good Words/Bad Words.”

To be honest, the words post is closer to finished.  But the post on introversion is gonna be cool.

So which do you want to see? ‘Cause I know you guys don’t come here for the startlingly witty prose or the terribly deep thoughts.  If that were the case, you’d be hanging out on my OTHER blog.  I’m pretty sure it’s all about the stick figures and snark here.

But seriously, if you have an opinion and want to let me know, that would be awesome because while WordPress tells me that you people exist and are actually reading stuff, none of you ever SAY anything and I’m beginning to wonder if WP isn’t just trolling me because it’s a brat like that.

(It is a brat.  I’ve got a double post here and a double post in the OTHER blog and I can’t delete either one because they both got linked by people elsewhere and deleting them would cause confusion and meh. But WordPress barfed them up twice and I still have no idea why.)

So wordpress trolling aside, do any of you actually say things?  Or are you spectres from the great beyond?  If so, can you please settle a debate for me? Because think Casanova was exaggerating and I think the rules are pretty clear that you have to fess up in the Great Beyond.  So if you could figure that out and then, I don’t know, text a priest or something, that’d be great.